some guy i love an admire, cause he's everything im not..
lets call him Him ja
Told me something....
well i went on a date right so he tells me...
"dont stress, dont think too much and y no te claves" how can i translate no te claves...
its like dont dig into the guy that much as he would say "let it flow" ...
so yeah he said that to me and i asked my self the question...
IS it possible to THINK TOO MUCH?
how is that possible like human beings aren't we suppose to think....
i guess over analyzing that what he meant i guess I over analyze everything...
will it hurt?
..is it true what he's saying..?
do i see this guy like being material to spend my time with?
...people that know me will say HELL NO you do not think that cause if you did..what about all the loosers you love jajaj..
well to those people i can only say they aren't losers... there experience
and some of them were not losers....
so yeah back to my thinking so well i guess i really don't think the shit i have to think about and the stuff i should let it flow i think too much about...
so well i guess me not thinking about him would be something i should let flow
but haven't you had those people you cant stop thinking about and you analyze the way they act and think and just cant stop cause you find them the most amazing and different creature you've met... well with him tis just that....
Then well stress...yeah im a stressfull person, i have to control it soo much.. im a person that looks like one of those people that goes with the flow but no i really dont go with the flow... i wanna be the flow i don't wanna follow the flow... so thats why im gonna go to meditation class see if that helps... cause i stress so much sometimes i cant relax..... and when i do ohh god it feels good...some thimes i wish that i could relax and be myself with him but well he produces absolutley the contrary ... aren't you suppose to want to be with the person that makes you relax and you can be yourself with? well yeah, but in my case i wanna be with the person i cant... but i want to be with him cause i know i could be the person i am and maybe when i really am and i find out he really doesnt want the person I am maybe ill be bored pretending to be what im not... you know you can only control yourself for so much....
But yeah i love him, anything i do i always carry him around... anything he does makes me proud...one day a friend asked me HEY KAKY would you me ashamed of taking him out in front of other people? and I just said NO I AM NOT ASHAMED OF HIM AND NO I WOULDN'T BE EMBARRASSED and thats when i realized hummmm if this aint going any where well i better get out of this mess, if im not ashamed so this shit must really be real... and then i said why should i get out of this... you can always love someone and want his happiness and understand that you are not his happiness and you go and find your own happiness without wishing for his unhappiness....
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